The Gun Show

Today's adventure: using an ATM in a country that the US State Department will try to convince you is the one of the most dangerous places in the world.

The good news is that this afternoon my stomach situation was starting to feel like it was settling down. At least enough that a 20 minute escapade away from immediate access to a bathroom didn't give major cause for concern. My hope is that I'll be feeling well enough tomorrow morning to go on the school trip to nearby Conception to check out a Myan ritual site (and see a Myan ritual if one is going on) AND, even more exciting for me, go check out the local comadronas (midwives) clinic!

The bad news is the trip requires cash and my initial reserves had finally run dry. This meant braving a trip to the ATM. I know I say that as though it's a tremendously treacherous thing, when in reality folks stop at the ATM here the same way they do back home, maybe putting away their cash with a little more alacrity. But, this being my first time really traveling abroad, and living in a city where our school staff caution us about going out alone after 9:30, I was still nervous. I figured I should make a point to go while it was still broad daylight, and before the afternoon rains rolled in.

Of course the whole trip was uneventful. I inquired at school first as to the whereabouts of a 5B ATM because those had been recommended for my type of bank card and for lack of identify theft scandal. While the student coordinator couldn't recall the exact brand of ATM, she gave me directions to 4 different options in Parque Central. If the first didn't work, I could head to the next, and she assured me that they were all perfectly safe to use. As luck would have it, the first one was a 5B machine.

There were two folks ahead of me so I stood and waited, taking in the square and the armed security guard next to us. I don't think I'll ever quite get used to the high visibility of arms that even the security guard at McDonald's displays prominently (yes, there's an armed security detail at McDonald's. 24/7 or whatever their hours are). These are not your standard-issue US police handguns. They are large-barreled, heavy, automatic weapons requiring two hands. They look like something out of a Terminator movie, and they're everywhere. I'm not well versed in guns by any means, but seriously, AK-47's look delicate compared to these things (AK-47s appear to be the standard-issue weapon of choice for police, so I do get to make the comparison quite often).

Anyhow, after the two other customers were finished it was my turn. I was thrilled to discover that, just like in the states, ATMs are in spanish and english down here. Apparently, however, checking accounts are not referred to as checking accounts. This lead to some confusion on my part. I put in my card, put in my PIN, selected withdrawal...and then picked the option that I understood the best, which was savings. I was momentarily befuddled when the ATM told me that my transaction couldn't go through, and quickly popped back to the start page.

Oooo-kaaaay. It dawned on me that my card never accesses my savings account, that I must have made the wrong selection.

Round 2: Insert card, type in PIN, select withdrawal....alright, so savings is not what I want (duh) maybe credit card? I mean, my debit/ATM card can act like a credit card. It looks like a credit card. I also didn't recognize the other option - a DDT account I think. So I picked the credit card option. No dice, again.

By now I have multiple thoughts running through my head. 1) I'm taking too long, anyone who was looking for an easy target has found it in me - I clearly don't know what I'm doing. 2) What if I'm somehow compromising my card and PIN info every time I enter it here? What if someone has hijacked this ATM to steal account numbers and has rigged it to keep giving error messages while they record the data they need? (Ok, so I'm a little paranoid - the two folks ahead of me had no troubles)

Flustered, I turn around to assess my options. It's just me and the security guard with the big giant gun. I try to act as nonchalant as possible while asking if there's another ATM nearby. "What brand of card do you have?" He asks. I hesitate a moment before telling him. "This ATM should work for that card, are you having trouble?" Huh, I say, and decide that I can try one more time, since there is that 3rd option I haven't tried yet and if my account info is going to get lifted, it's already been done. The guard makes his visual sweep of the area and looks back. In english this time he says, "Try again." he encourages and smiles, "If you need help just ask me, I can show you." His manner is non-threatening, and he doesn't make a move, leaving plenty of space between us, and leaving it up to me to ask for assistance. I smile and say thank you, and turn back to give it one more go. It works, apparently checking account is the same as a DDT account, or whatever.

I safely stash my cash in my hidden pouch under my clothes, tuck my card in my front pants pocket where I can keep my hand on it, and grab my receipt. I smile and thank the guard again as I leave, and he wishes me a good afternoon. I decide that, on the upside, having a big-ass don't f-with me gun probably means that people don't usually f-with you. Or your customers using the ATM 6 feet away.